


Our Future is Bright, But Our Present Can Leave

by kitkat0723



Series: Love Letters 'Verse [3]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Aint no one got time to Beta these things, Chris misses his Buck, Eddie is missing Buck something fierce, Emails, Heartache from missing someone, M/M, Missing someone, Phone messages, This is really really sappy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:08:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24971323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kitkat0723/pseuds/kitkat0723
Summary: It's only been a few days but Eddie is really missing Buck. It's another day that his boyfriend isn't around after learning about his parents death. Eddie tries to get through and Answers Buck's email from a few days before.
Relationships: Christopher Diaz & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Series: Love Letters 'Verse [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1805962
Comments: 12
Kudos: 85





	Our Future is Bright, But Our Present Can Leave

**Author's Note:**

> As always thanks to Shanachie for being the Buck to My Eddie and talking me through this and plotting everything with me. I'm sorry these are really Sappy. It's a secret only Buck knows, Eddie CAN use words ;) 
> 
> Enjoy and if you cry, I'm sorry! 
> 
> I did some graphics for this and I'll be posting them on my tumblr soon so come scream at me!
> 
> Also, I have no clue why the formatting on this is screwed up today. Hopefully that doesn't take away from your reading enjoyment.

Eddie had to remind himself that he knew how to be alone. That the empty feeling would go away when Buck came home. He’d only be gone a month. He was coming back, he promised. There wasn’t any time to reply to Buck's email at work, and the next day wasn’t any better between Christopher’s appointments and trying to do the chores they hadn’t bothered to do that weekend, since they chose family time over the house being more than just picked up. He was at work on Wednesday when he got a second to look at his email again, smiling sadly at it. It wasn’t fair that they had to be separated but, they were doing what they had to do. He knew Chim would be in late, having to drop Maddie off early and take Evelyn to the babysitters. Eddie definitely doesn’t miss that part of being a single parent.    
When Buck’s replacement arrived at the station, Bobby tried to have them put their stuff in Buck’s speed rack and Eddie wasn’t having it. He graciously offered to put his stuff with Buck’s, letting them take his for the time they’d be at the station. Eddie wasn’t trying to make a friend, he just wanted his man back. When his phone rang, he got up and moved down the stairs for more privacy. The name on the phone made his heart leap and smile. He shut himself in the changing room.    
“Hey you.” He messed with a button on his uniform, trying to sound upbeat.    
_ “Hey Babe, sorry I know you’re at work.”  _ _  
_ __ “It’s okay, we were just having breakfast. How are you?” 

_“As well as can be, I guess.”_ _  
_ “We miss you.” _  
__“I miss you both too. I’m just on my way to pick up Maddie at the airport. How’s Chris?”_ _  
_ “Missing his Buck,” Eddie laughed and tried not to scream. 

_“I miss him too. I just wanted to call and say be safe.”_   
“You too,” the alarm chose to ring at that minute. Dammit.   
_“Love you!”_  
“Love you too!” Eddie stuffed his phone in his pocket and moved out of the change room to his gear, the first one on the truck.   
The replacement, Reagan, goggled as they got into the truck after Bobby had hopped into the captain’s seat. “How fast can you get into your turn outs?”   
Eddie shrugged. “I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I was in the change room.”   
“Ah.”   
“Yeah.” Eddie turned to stare out the window as they drove down the streets of Los Angeles. He wanted to talk about Buck, but not to someone who didn’t know him. And he wasn’t replacing Buck. This was just temporary. Eddie had to keep reminding himself of that.  
***  
The scene was its usually mess of chaos and calm. Someone decided it would be a fine day to run their car into the center divider of the freeway. Eddie keeps his head down and does what he’s told but when Cap called out,”Reagan, Eddie! Let’s move,” It felt wrong and twisted something in Eddie’s gut. He was reminded again of the time without Buck and he hates it. He wished the past would stop haunting them at every damn turn. Taking a deep breath, he battled through another day without his other half and rolled with the calls of the day.   
There’s some down time between calls later in the night and he knows he should be sleeping, but he just can’t. There’s way too much shit in his head, plus Buck won’t be there again when he wakes up. He heads for his bag, and grabs his iPad and heads back up to the lounge. He pulls up his email and rolls his eyes at the amount of emails in there, but goes looking for the most important one in his inbox. Laying out on one of the couches, he opens it and reads it again, then hits reply. He’s not sure what to say, but just like last week he figures Buck will get the gist of his letter. 

  
_Dear Evan,_   
_Today royally sucked. You weren’t here. Your replacement, a floater from Costa Mesa, showed up today. It all seems too soon. At least with Lena coming in we had, ha, a warning about it. They’re okay. Cap wanted them to use your locker and rack. I told him I’d just move my stuff into your rack and locker, I’ve got the combination anyway. So now everything is all mixed together. Buckley-Diaz, Diaz-Buckley. I have to check the name on the back of the turnout coat. I know you’re smiling at that. Fuck, I miss you so much. When someone is such a big part of your life, like you’ve been with mine, the absence is like the fucking ocean. Getting through without you here is going to be hell, but I know how to be alone. Since you though, I don’t want to be alone. Do this all alone again._ _  
__I want to wake up wrapped up in you. It was hard to drag myself out of bed yesterday, today. Even now, I should really get rest. Instead here I lay on the couch while everyone else is bunked down getting shut eye. You’re not here, so there’s not a smiling face waiting for me when I get up. Chris told me you called. Thank you. He said he enjoyed you telling him about Hershey park. You know we’re going to have to take him to see where they make chocolate, right? We’ll talk about it when you get home. After the Diaz’ spend at least a solid two days keeping you hostage in their arms._ _  
__Calls today were a mix of the usual, help I got stuck somewhere and then the chaos of a wreck on the highway. Someone slammed their car into the median. It was a bitch to clean up, but a rescue well done, nonetheless. Cap did roll call when we were ready to get out of there and hearing a name other than yours before mine made me miss you even more. Since I got you back, since I came back from the hell I was in, living without you doesn’t seem right. I know you and your sister needed to do this, had to do this, it just doesn’t seem fair. Your family misses you. I miss you, Christopher misses you. LA’s sun doesn’t seem to shine as bright now that you’re not here. I love you Evan. Never forget that. I’ll see you in my dreams._ _  
__Now and Always,_ _  
__My love,_ _  
__Eddie_ _  
__  
_ Eddie hit send, then closed down his tablet, and took it back downstairs, slipping it into his duffle bag and grabbed the sweater inside. He headed to the bunk room, and moved inside and over to the last available bunk. Pulling the sweater on and pulling the hood down over his eyes, he closed them and tried to drift off to sleep before the alarm rang.   
***  
Eddie bent down and hugged Christopher as he walked out of the school building the next afternoon. He was glad he had the next twenty-four hours off. He just wanted to spend time with his son. “How was school buddy?” Eddie took Christopher’s backpack and slung it over his shoulder.   
“It was great! We had art and science and lunch was good too.”   
Eddie chuckled as he opened the back door and helped Chris up. “Oh yeah? What did you learn today?”   
“Did you know that atoms are drawn together by their particles to form a bond and make something?”   
Eddie checked the rearview before pulling out of his parking spot and following the flow of traffic. “I didn’t know that. It’s pretty cool.”   
“And in art we got to draw something from a per-perspective, mine wasn’t that good, but I liked it anyway.”   
“Hey, your drawings are awesome! You don’t have to be good at everything.”   
“I know,” He smiled as Eddie back at him. “But art is my favorite, so I just have to get better. Can I…” Chris broke off and seemed to not want to ask.   
“Can you what Bud?” Eddie cursed under his breath and honked his horn as someone tried to cut him off.   
“Can I call Buck? I know he’s in Pen-Pennsylvania, but I wanted to tell him about our science lesson.”   
“You can do that, but he might not answer, okay. He’s going through a lot.”   
“I miss him, Dad.”   
Eddie looked back for a second, noticing the way Chris was looking down sadly at his shoes and it made Eddie hurt even more than he was. He might have missed Buck, but that was nothing compared to what his son must be feeling and seeing his boy hurt, hurt him. 

“Oh Buddy, I miss him too and I know he’s missing us. He’s just got a lot on his plate. But we can try, okay.”    
“Okay!”    
Once they got home and Eddie settled Chris at the table, he started to pull stuff out for dinner. It wasn’t that he couldn’t cook, he just usually always burnt things or something would go wrong. But there were a few things he could make and right then, he knew both him and Chris needed the comfort of it. Chris worked quietly as Eddie browned-not burned, this time, thankfully-the chicken and then started layering the casserole dish.    
He put it in the oven as Christopher made his way down the hall to his room when he was done with his homework.    
That night at dinner, there was an empty place setting, and Eddie felt it down in his bones. 

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos/Comments rock! 
> 
> Come scream at me on my tumblr about how much I accidentally made you cry! @kitkat0723


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